If you have a daughter who loves volleyball but struggles to follow instructions, you’re not alone. Many parents of ADHD athletes understand this challenge. Your child may look at you with wide eyes and nod, but when it’s game time, the instructions vanish. How do we close that gap between hearing and doing in sports?

We know our kids love their sport. Volleyball is their passion, after all. It’s not that they aren’t interested. ADHD affects their ability to absorb and apply instructions in real-time. While this isn’t an easy fix, effective strategies for ADHD athletes can make a world of difference.

Breaking It Down: The Power of Chunking Information

One of the best strategies for ADHD athletes is breaking instructions down into bite-sized pieces. It’s easy to give a broad, sweeping instruction like, “Work on your serve and stay focused on your positioning.” But for an ADHD brain, that’s a lot to process at once. Instead, try breaking it into smaller, clearer steps: “First, focus on your toss. Then, pay attention to your arm swing. Finally, keep your feet planted.” When things are chunked down, the athlete can focus on one thing at a time, reducing overwhelm and increasing follow-through.

Tip: If the coach doesn’t break instructions down this way, you can help by doing it yourself at home. Repetition of simple, clear steps can go a long way.

Visual and Physical Cues: Giving ADHD Athletes a Clear Roadmap

Another great strategy for ADHD athletes is the use of visual and physical cues. Sometimes, words just don’t register, especially when there’s a lot of action happening around them. So, incorporating visual or physical signals can help ground the athlete and keep them on track.

For instance, you can create a “mental checklist” for your child that they can reference during practices and games. This could include simple visuals, like a chart with pictures of the steps involved in their key skills (e.g., serving, receiving, or setting). Another method might involve hand signals or a tap on the shoulder as a physical reminder for specific actions (like keeping the arms straight during a pass).

Tip: Pair these cues with positive reinforcement. The more they see these visual cues linked with success, the more likely they are to internalize them over time.

Consistency Is Key: Make It Part of the Routine

For ADHD athletes, consistency in both practice and instruction is vital. ADHD brains thrive in structured environments, so helping your athlete know what to expect at every practice and game can help set them up for success.

If you’ve read my previous blog Coaching Players with ADHD, you know how important it is to have routines that players can count on. Whether it’s always running the same warm-up drills before each practice or using the same cue words during coaching sessions, sticking to a consistent routine helps your athlete’s brain stay organized and focused. It’s like putting together a puzzle – each piece fits, and over time, the full picture starts to come together.

Tip: Keep routines clear, simple, and predictable. When things are consistent, your athlete will have fewer distractions and will be better able to execute what they’ve learned.

Get Them Involved in Their Own Success: Empowerment Through Choice

A crucial part of any ADHD management plan involves helping your athlete take ownership of their development. Instead of simply telling them what to do, ask them what strategies they think will work for them. For example, ask, “What part of the game do you find hardest to remember?” or “What could help you stay focused during practice?” Involving them in finding their own solutions fosters a sense of control, which is key to helping them take ownership of their learning process.

If you’re looking for more hands-on strategies to help your ADHD athlete build mental performance skills, check out my upcoming Mental Performance Bootcamp. It’s designed specifically for athletes aged 12-18, and it’s a fantastic opportunity to equip your child with the tools they need to thrive both on and off the court.

Tip: Keep them in the loop. Allowing your athlete to take ownership of their mental performance can make a huge difference in how they approach the game.

Moving Forward: Consistent Support and Practice

At the end of the day, strategies for ADHD athletes are all about consistency, clarity, and patience. While it may take a bit more time for your daughter to internalize and act on coach’s instructions, with the right strategies, she can thrive. Breaking down instructions, using visual cues, sticking to routines, and empowering her to take ownership are all ways you can help her succeed.

With the right support, your daughter can go from simply nodding along to taking action on the court, and beyond.

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When a Smile Isn’t Defiance: Understanding Neurodivergent Coping Mechanisms in Sport

There’s this moment I see happen all the time in youth sports. A coach gives a correction—maybe it’s about footwork, focus, or effort—and instead of a serious nod of understanding, the athlete… smiles. Maybe they chuckle, or they do a little dance. And then it happens: The coach’s expression shifts. The arms cross. The brows furrow. And the dreaded phrase comes out:

“Are you not taking this seriously?”

Oh, but they are. They’re just not showing it the way you expect.

The Misinterpretation Trap

Here’s the thing—many neurodivergent athletes (those with ADHD, autism, anxiety, or other neurological differences) process stress, focus, and emotional regulation differently than neurotypical athletes. Their reactions to high-pressure moments or corrections don’t always fit the standard script of furrowed brows and deep nods of understanding.

Smiling? That’s not defiance. That’s a regulation mechanism.
Laughing? That’s an attempt to mask discomfort or diffuse tension.
Dancing, fidgeting, or humming? That’s self-stimulation to stay engaged.

But to the untrained eye, these behaviors can look like disinterest, disrespect, or even insubordination.

Why Neurodivergent Athletes Do This

Neurodivergent brains operate on different wavelengths when it comes to emotional regulation, focus, and sensory processing. Here are a few key reasons why you might see these behaviors in practice:

• Masking & Social Survival: Many neurodivergent individuals have learned that their natural responses to stress (like freezing up or avoiding eye contact) aren’t socially “acceptable.” Smiling or joking is often their way of fitting in and softening potentially negative interactions.
• Fight, Flight… or Fun? The nervous system has a variety of responses to stress, and for some athletes, humor and playfulness are legitimate coping strategies. They’re not trying to be difficult; they’re trying to keep from shutting down.
• Sensory Overload Management: Movement (like fidgeting or dancing) helps some athletes regulate their nervous systems. If a drill is stressful, adding motion may actually help them engage rather than disengage.
• Processing Delays & Time Needs: Some neurodivergent athletes need a few extra moments to process a correction. A laugh or joke might be a way to stall while their brain catches up.

What Coaches Get Wrong

The biggest mistake a coach can make? Assuming intent.

When a player responds to feedback with a grin or a joke, a coach might assume:

• They don’t respect me.
• They aren’t taking this seriously.
• They’re trying to push my buttons.

When in reality, the athlete is probably thinking:

• I don’t know what else to do right now.
• I hope they don’t think I’m upset.
• I need to move through this moment so I don’t get overwhelmed.

And here’s the kicker—if a coach interprets these behaviors as disrespect and comes down hard on the athlete, they’re not teaching discipline. They’re shutting down a coping mechanism and increasing stress. And when stress rises too high, learning stops.

How Coaches Can Adapt

So, what can you do to avoid misinterpreting an athlete’s natural regulation strategies as defiance?

1. Pause Before Reacting – Instead of immediately assuming intent, take a breath. Ask yourself: Is this athlete really being disrespectful, or could this be their way of processing?
2. Separate Focus From Stillness – Just because an athlete isn’t standing rigidly still doesn’t mean they’re not engaged. Some kids listen best when moving. Instead of demanding stillness, try saying, “You can move, but keep your eyes on me while I explain.”
3. Ask Instead of Assume – If you’re unsure about an athlete’s response, ask! “Hey, when you smile after I give feedback, what’s going through your head?” You’d be surprised how many kids will give you an honest answer.
4. Reframe Your Expectations – Neurodivergent athletes may not always respond with traditional “serious” body language, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care. Look for engagement in other ways—eye contact (or effort toward it), body positioning, or willingness to try again.
5. Provide Alternative Outlets – If you notice a player struggling to regulate, offer them tools instead of reprimands. Let them squeeze a stress ball while listening or give them a quick movement break. Small adjustments can make a big difference.

A Shift in Perspective

Imagine a world where coaches didn’t immediately assume the worst when a player smiled at the wrong time. Imagine if, instead of demanding “proper” reactions, we learned to decode the language of neurodivergent athletes and met them where they are.

Because at the end of the day, coaching is about connection. And connection doesn’t happen when we demand conformity—it happens when we seek understanding.

So, the next time an athlete grins after a correction or breaks into a little dance between drills, take a second. Don’t see defiance. See a kid doing their best to stay in the game, in the way that makes sense to them.

And that? That deserves coaching, not correction.

That’s it for today! Remember. OneDayOne. It is either Day One or One Day. Always your choice.

And of course… #DontSuck

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Sorry for the delayed response. I am knee-deep in coaching, teaching, and working on my doctorate. It is a bit crazy.

TLDR = Neurodivergent/ADHD athletes have unique needs, and the most significant problem is that coaches do not have any training on how to deal with it if they are even aware a player is ND.  So, the solution is very personal to the athlete you are dealing with.

Also, before I begin my response, I want to give a little background.  I have been coaching for 30+ years at all levels.  I have coaches k-12, college, professional, and international—many topics I choose to reply to are present at all levels.  Also, I am married to a neurodivergent wife and have three neurodivergent children.  That led me to begin my doctoral studies for a D.H.Sc (Doctorate of Health Sciences) focusing on “coaching considerations for neurodivergent populations.”  So this topic is not just professional for me, it is very personal.

The original poster asked, “How many of you have kids that have ADHD or anxiety disorder? How do you deal with that with volleyball? Some of the things that she does, she can’t help it, and the other girls or the coaches don’t understand that.”

There is a lot to unpack with that question, so I will try not to make it too long or unorganized of a response.  I will start with the first part as a parent.  My oldest (16/Junior in HS) is a volleyball player.  My middle daughter (14/Freshman) is the artist.  My son (11/6^th Grade) is a percussionist.  All three of them are diagnosed with ADHD.  The key is that we are all diagnosed differently.  I think that is what most people fail to understand with ADHD.  While it may be an umbrella diagnosis, there are a lot of nuances to it.

We, as a family, have been very open about it.  So, I do not worry about “over-sharing” here.  My oldest manifests her ADHD mostly with Time Blindness and Out-of-Site-Out-of-Mind.  My middle daughter has anxiety that is sometimes debilitating for her.  My son is an “overpleaser” and talks—a lot.  I mean…A lot.  So, they all deal with it in very different ways.  Also, it doesn’t help that the term ADHD is not accurate.  When you say Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, most people think of a lack of attention or Hyperactivity.  What usually is happening is an overload of attention.  It is a deficit because there is not enough attention bandwidth available vs not having enough to start.  So as a parent, you may have to navigate different paths for multiple children.  It is not a one-size-fits-all type of thing.  The hard part is the emotional aspect of being a parent and watching them struggle.  It is painful, and many nights, I have cried in the shower over it.  Feeling like I was not doing enough.  One of the first mistakes we did (and I see most people do), is go straight to time management and organization.  Many parents will try to make a strict timeline or protocols to help their child succeed.  It makes perfect sense in our neurotypical minds.  “I am going to have my kid get off the bus, sit at the table, and do their homework from 3-4 before I let them do anything else. I don’t care if we sit all night”.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t work most of the time.  We have to learn strategies that are specific to them.  For example, my youngest HAS to do his math homework (or even in class) while standing.  He needs that freedom to move while he works.  It may seem unfocused or distracting, but it works for him.  My oldest has time blindness.  So, we used to structure when things had to be done.  For example, science work was due on Monday, so we would try to set a schedule.  Do a little on Tuesday, Thursday, etc.  So it would be done on time but not overload her.  That was a struggle.  Once we tossed the game plan out and let her work on her own time, everything improved (grades, attitude, etc).  So, if she was up until ten the night before to complete the assignment, that was on her.  It can be challenging as a parent to watch that deadline approach, but that is how she works.  Her grades and production have gotten a lot better (she is now dual enrollment with the local community college and on the dean’s list).  So, as a parent, I can best recommend reading up on ADHD.  Dr. Barkley is a fantastic resource.  But don’t just try to do what you think is right because, most times, it is counterproductive.

Now, on to the coaching side.  There are two huge key points we need to keep in mind when it comes to coaches and ADHD athletes:

1. Most coaches do not know an athlete has ADHD, especially if they are not on medication. They rarely have an idea, and it is not always easy to spot.
2. There is no “real” training for coaches and ADHD or any neurodivergent athletes. SO coaches, who are already underpaid and have limited time/resources are left to their own devices to figure it out.

It is a perfect storm.  Current studies suggest that about 1 in 10 youth are ADHD or neurodivergent.  If you think about it, there is a high likelihood that one player per team is neurodivergent.  One of the biggest misconceptions I have run into during my studies and research is that the general population tends to think that neurodivergent tend to weed themselves out of sports because it is hard for them.  What I have seen is the opposite.  Neurodivergent youth tend to migrate towards sports because it is an area where they can get some relief.  So, I personally (and unscientifically) believe that the number of neurodivergent athletes on a team is higher than 1 in 10.  Another issue is that a lot of young children do not develop signs until later (around 11-12 years old) and many are undiagnosed.  So not only do the coaches not know, the parents (and even players) don’t know.

As to the main question, how do you deal with it?  You have to have the conversation and educate the coach.  Explain some of your child’s tendencies and how you have worked with them in the past.  There could be things that the coach or team is doing that may seem small but may have significant impacts on your child.  One of the big changes over the years I have made is how we warm up.  We do not make it controlled.  Here is the time (20 minutes say) you have to get your mind and body ready for practice however you need.  Some players need music and some hate music.  How do you balance that?  On the court, my child is very loose.  She likes to move and shake things off (literally).  Sometimes, coaches see this as inattention or lack of focus, but it is the opposite.  That is what keeps her locked in.  If you want her to stand still and “focus” you are going to lose the best version of her.

That is not to say you can’t or shouldn’t have regimented tasks or practices, but it is more about picking your battles and what you are willing to compromise on. If you truly want the best out of your athletes, you are going to have to make connections and learn about them. I could go on and give a bunch of examples, but each player and team is different, and it all starts with dialogue and compromise.

Both as a parent and a coach, it will not always be roses.  It will be very frustrating and challenging at times.  My oldest walked away from high school volleyball last year because the environment was not good for her, and the old staff (and new staff) had no desire to work with her.  Of course, it hurts me as a parent to not see her playing, and as a coach, it hurts to see other coaches not willing to understand or take those concerns seriously.  Now, I will say her mind and body have healed over time after playing since she was 9.  She played beach the past two years and is returning to indoor club this season, because she found a club that actually understood and wanted to learn and work with her on it.  Sometimes the answer is that you have to look for a home (athletically) that will let her/him thrive and be the best they can.  That journey can be hard, but it will be worth it.

I hope this answers your question. It is a complex situation. You will get a lot of responses and “tips,” but the truth is that ADHD and all neurodivergent athletes are unique, and how we all work with them is not done via a template.

I will gladly answer any other questions you may have.

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Coaching players with ADHD can be challenging, as the disorder can make it difficult for individuals to stay focused and perform well in sports. However, there are effective coaching strategies that can help players with ADHD succeed. In this blog post, we will explore some of these strategies, backed by peer-reviewed research.

Understanding ADHD

Before we delve into coaching strategies for players with ADHD, it’s important to understand the disorder. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects the way a person’s brain develops and functions, specifically in the areas of attention, behavior, and learning. It can also affect the development of executive functioning skills, which are essential for goal-directed behavior, self-control, and decision-making (Barkley, 2010). ADHD is not a result of poor parenting or lack of effort, and it cannot be cured, but it can be managed with the right strategies and support.

Coaching Strategies for Players with ADHD

1. Establish a Structured Environment – Players with ADHD often thrive in a structured environment. Creating a routine for practices and games, with clearly defined expectations and consistent schedules, can help players with ADHD feel more comfortable and focused. Research has shown that establishing routines can improve attention and behavior in children with ADHD (Chronis et al., 2004).
2. Use Positive Reinforcement – Positive reinforcement can be very effective for players with ADHD. This means praising players for their successes and encouraging them to keep up the good work. Players with ADHD may struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence, so it’s important to provide positive feedback whenever possible. A study by Abikoff et al. (1980) found that positive reinforcement increased task performance and compliance in children with ADHD.
3. Provide Frequent Breaks – Players with ADHD may have difficulty sustaining their attention for long periods of time. It can be helpful to provide frequent breaks during practices and games to allow players to recharge and refocus. These breaks can be short, but they can make a big difference in keeping players with ADHD engaged and focused. Research has shown that frequent breaks can improve attention and reduce hyperactivity in children with ADHD (Zentall et al., 2013).
4. Use Visual Aids – Visual aids can be very helpful for players with ADHD. This can include things like diagrams or videos that demonstrate certain techniques or plays. Using visual aids can help players with ADHD better understand what is expected of them and can also help them remember important information. A study by Pfiffner et al. (2014) found that using visual aids improved homework completion and academic performance in children with ADHD.
5. Keep Instructions Simple and Clear – Players with ADHD may have difficulty processing complex instructions. It can be helpful to keep instructions simple and clear, and to repeat them as needed. Breaking down complex instructions into smaller steps can also be helpful. Research has shown that simplified instructions and repetition can improve compliance and task completion in children with ADHD (DuPaul et al., 2001).

Coaching players with ADHD requires a different approach than coaching players without the disorder. Providing a structured environment, using positive reinforcement, providing frequent breaks, using visual aids, and keeping instructions simple and clear are all effective coaching strategies for players with ADHD, supported by peer-reviewed research. Remember that players with ADHD can be successful in sports with the right support and strategies in place. By using these strategies, coaches can help players with ADHD reach their full potential in sports and beyond.

References:

Abikoff, H., Gittelman, R., & Klein, D. (1980). Classroom observation code for hyperactive, inattentive, and normal children. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 8(1), 15-24.

Barkley, R. A. (2010). Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A handbook for diagnosis and treatment. Guilford Press.

Chronis, A. M., Chacko, A., Fabiano, G. A., Wymbs, B. T., & Pelham, W. E. (2004). Enhancements to the behavioral parent training paradigm for families of children with ADHD: Review and future directions. Clinical child and family psychology review, 7(1), 1-27.

DuPaul, G. J., Jitendra, A. K., Volpe, R. J., Tresco, K. E., & Vile Junod, R. E. (2001). Helping schoolchildren with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: A school psychologist’s guide to assessment and intervention. John Wiley & Sons.

Pfiffner, L. J., Haack, L. M., Miller, C. J., & Grimbos, T. (2014). A randomized controlled trial to examine the efficacy of school-based homework interventions for youth with ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 18(8), 654-665.

Zentall, S. S., Grskovic, J. A., & McLean, J. E. (2013). Classroom interventions for attention and hyperactivity. In Handbook of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (pp. 229-247). Springer.

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Coaches play a crucial role in the development and success of athletes. However, they face various challenges when it comes to coaching neurodivergent athletes. Neurodivergent athletes may have different needs and requirements compared to neurotypical athletes, and it is essential for coaches to understand these differences to provide effective coaching.

Neurodiversity refers to the natural variation in the human brain and neurological differences that affect the way individuals process information, communicate, and interact with the world. It includes conditions such as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Dyslexia, and Tourette Syndrome, among others.

According to a study by Raiola and colleagues (2020), coaches’ perceptions and attitudes toward neurodivergent athletes affect their coaching strategies and the athletes’ experiences. Therefore, it is crucial for coaches to understand the unique strengths and challenges of neurodivergent athletes and adopt appropriate coaching strategies to enhance their performance and overall well-being.

Here are some best practices for coaching neurodivergent athletes based on peer-reviewed research:

Create a Positive and Supportive Environment
Neurodivergent athletes may face challenges in social interaction and communication. Therefore, it is crucial to create a positive and supportive environment that promotes their social and emotional well-being. Coaches can achieve this by:

• Encouraging open communication and providing regular feedback to athletes
• Fostering a culture of inclusivity and acceptance
• Using positive reinforcement to motivate and reward athletes’ efforts and progress
• Creating structured routines and predictable environments to reduce anxiety and increase comfort

Use Visual and Explicit Instruction
Many neurodivergent athletes benefit from visual and explicit instruction, including written or visual aids, demonstrations, and step-by-step instructions. Coaches can adopt the following strategies to enhance learning and skill acquisition:

• Use diagrams, pictures, and videos to illustrate techniques and strategies
• Break down complex tasks into smaller steps and provide explicit instructions for each step
• Encourage athletes to ask questions and provide additional explanations when needed
• Use visual cues, such as hand signals and color coding, to enhance communication and understanding

Incorporate Sensory-Friendly Approaches
Some neurodivergent athletes may have sensory sensitivities, including noise, light, and touch. Therefore, coaches can incorporate sensory-friendly approaches to enhance athletes’ comfort and performance, including:

• Allowing athletes to use noise-canceling headphones or sunglasses during training and competition
• Creating quiet or low-stimulus areas for athletes to take breaks or de-escalate
• Providing athletes with sensory toys or tools, such as fidgets or stress balls, to reduce anxiety and increase focus
• Using soft or textured surfaces, such as mats or foam rollers, to provide tactile input and improve body awareness

Emphasize Strengths-Based Coaching
Neurodivergent athletes often have unique strengths, such as attention to detail, pattern recognition, and hyper-focus, that can enhance their performance. Coaches can adopt strengths-based coaching to identify and leverage these strengths, including:

• Identifying individual strengths and designing training programs that capitalize on them
• Providing opportunities for athletes to use their strengths in creative and strategic ways
• Encouraging athletes to develop self-awareness and self-advocacy skills to communicate their needs and strengths effectively

Coaching neurodivergent athletes requires a deep understanding of their unique strengths and challenges. By adopting evidence-based coaching strategies, coaches can create a positive and supportive environment that promotes neurodiverse athletes’ success and well-being.

References:

Raiola, G., Scarinci, A., & Liukkonen, J. (2020). Coaches’ perceptions and attitudes toward the inclusion of neurodivergent athletes in sports

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