On December 31, 2020, I will be posting a “State of the Universe” blog and podcast. Before I do that, I felt a little background on the actual title and concept was needed. I guess I should really start off explaining how the “State of the Universe” started since this will be the first time I am doing it as a fully public release versus a private e-mail distribution. The whole state of the universe concept was something that a former mentor of mine had done every year via his private e-mail release. Tom Berwager was one of my very first business/work mentors that I ever had. Sure, I had manager and bosses before that, but Tom was really the first person to start to groom me and teach me for something better….deeper….down the line. This is the story of my boss, my mentor, and my friend.
In 1997, I had come off a few rough years, professionally. I left a steady job of 3 years in 1995 (please keep in mind I was only 21 at the time). I was doing inside technology sales and wanted something more. I jumped ship to another company with the promise of moving from sales to tech. After a year and half of driving 3 hours to Bristol, PA every week to live in a hotel (the office in Harrisburg they promised never happened) I had to leave. Because they never transitioned me into tech, I only had tech sales experience. I basically lived in late 1995 and all of 1996 hopping from horrible sales job to sales job. All while maintaining an amazing 1.75 GPA at the local community college. I felt like I was going nowhere fast. In August of 1997, I had seen an ad for a new position at a local tech firm for “Technical Sales Support”. I decided to apply for the job and had an interview with Tom.
The interview with Tom was not what I expected. First, he was only in his socks. Secondly, he had a knack to showing you how smart he really was, without making it seem like he was arrogant or being a jerk. The interview was more like a friendly chat. I just remember being comfortable enough to tell him “Look, I don’t know where my path is going to lead me, but I am sure that right now I do not have a guide there. I am not just looking for a paycheck. I am looking for a company and a mentor to guide me to something better. I am not going to always get it right, but I am always going to learn…”. Two days later, I was offered the job.
Tom was a unique person. He was a Harrisburg Hashers. A running group with a drinking problem (I mean that with all love). He was a professional skydiver. He was a pilot. He was also one of the smartest tech minds I had ever met. Not in the sense of book smart (which he was), but practical smart. Really able to fix things in real-time, not some book scenario. He was the first person to introduce me to sushi. We would often have lunch at Fuji-Do’s. He was the living breathing version of a Jimmy Buffet song. He was an amazing mentor. He would give me just enough space to really mess up yet give me the tools to redeem myself. My job was basically the bridge between the sales force and the tech force. I had to make sure that the salespeople weren’t overselling things and I had to make sure the tech side knew what they were getting into. Tom mentored me on the tech side, the co-worker relationship side, and the customer relationship side. 1998 was amazing for me..Until June 7th.
Tom recently purchased a Mooney M20A plane. He was flying out to Idaho to pick it up and fly it back to Harrisburg. This is the part that only a handful of people knew about. In fact, I really don’t talk about it much to this day. We had talked about the trip and originally, and I was going to accompany him on the trip. It was going to be a great chance to talk about the department and where it was headed. It would also be a great chance for some one-on-one time out of the office to learn more about life from my mentor. I also was worried about the flight back alone for him. I thought having somewhere there would be better. We would fly out on a commercial flight to Idaho, get the plane, then fly home with a stop in Montana to break up the trip. Fate would have a different idea. A large contract for a local company got changed. This would require me to stay back in Harrisburg and then work with the client on the 8th. We were worried that the trip would not give us time to have any final revisions made (remember this was 1998 and remote working was really slow and bad). So, I agreed to stay back and get things done, and he would join me.
On June 7th at 11:45 am (EST), Tom’s plane crashed in the mountains outside of Helena Montana. There were no survivors. The crash was attributed to poor weather conditions and pilot error (not enough training for the conditions). Tom and I usually talked every day, but I had not heard from him since about 3 pm on the 6th. Again, there wasn’t the communication levels we have today, so I did not think much of it. I assumed he got held up and maybe was late. On June 8th at 9:00 am, the President of our company called us all into the conference room. He delivered the news that would set in motion a lot of things. He informed the company that Tom’s plane had crashed and that there were no survivors. Now, I was fairly new and there were a lot of great people that worked there. I am not going to say that it hit me the hardest. I just know that it hit me very hard. I immediately left the office and went to one of our favorite clients to tell them the news. I absolutely needed to get out of the office. I made work for me to do offsite that day. Most of that day is a blur for me. I remember going to Fuji-Do and trying to eat and I just sat there and cried at the table, trying not to let anyone see me. I eventually made it back to the office where everyone had left. For the next three hours, I just sat at Tom’s desk and sobbed. Complete, uncontrollable sobbing. I had so many things running through me. Sadness, anger, survivors’ guilt. I honestly do not know how I made it through. The next few weeks were a complete blur for me. I thought I was doing well until I was tasked with sorting through his business e-mail and papers for things we needed to continue on.
In his email, I found the message he had sent to HR and the president of the company after our interview. “Dan seems like a great kid. Smart and eager to learn. I really liked him and think with the right direction, will be a perfect fit for the position. Would love to make an offer ASAP.” I have this mail printed out and it has traveled with me to every job I have had since. My only regret in Tom’s passing is that I did not make his paddle out ceremony in Key West. I just was not in the place mentally.
After Tom’s death, things went downhill professionally. Because Tom was my direct supervisor, when he passed, I was sort of forgotten about. I went almost a month without any real contact from management. I do not know if they were giving me space, or they honestly just forgot about me. I would get assigned an odd job here and there, but no real direction from anyone. Reviews, Christmas bonuses; all were missed. There was no one there for me once Tom was gone. Let me be very clear, there were A LOT of great workers there. Even the management/ownership was great. I just got “lost in the shuffle”. Eventually, I got reassigned, as the Technical Sales Department was now gone. I was moved over to the technical support side. I had a lot of great co-workers there from the other techs to the awesome ladies of the help desk. The problem was there was no one there who took Tom’s mentorship role. I did land the on-site role with a local school district that we were supporting. Eventually, however, I made the decision to go back to college and I needed a job that would be flexible with that. Honestly, I also was looking for a new mentor. Eventually, in February 2001, I stopped looking and went out on my own, starting my own I.T. support company. A firm that I would grow, nurture, and love until I would merge with my parents’ company. That is the story for another day.
I have rarely shared this story with anyone, let alone talk about it personally. There are three main reasons:
- I just needed to. This is one of the biggest moments of my life. It literally would shape almost every decision and path I will take until I leave this earth. It was time I realized it was ok to talk about it. To let people, see this side of me.
- I have decided to take up the “State of the Universe” job. I hope I can honor Tom with it. I wish I would have saved his last ones to model after, but I am going to have to go of a fading memory.
- I do not think the world puts enough stock in the role the mentorship provides people. It does not matter if you are in the business world, the educational world, or the coaching world. The value of a mentor is hard to state.
In closing, and why this long post exists. I have decided to dedicate all my resources for 2021 to mentoring. My Podcasts, my blogs, my social media will focus mainly on mentorship. It is time we grow the mentoring culture in life and help one another, as opposed to trying to keep all our “trade secrets” and holding others down. I am not sure what all I will be launching in 2021, but I do know that you are all invited on the ride.
Stay tuned for the “State of the Universe” blog and podcast post on 12/31/2020.
With love and mentorship,
Feature image license
License: Creative Commons 3 – CC BY-SA 3.0
Attribution: Alpha Stock Images – http://alphastockimages.com/
Original Author: Nick Youngson – http://www.nyphotographic.com/
