There are things we want, and things we think we would be a better person for wanting. Those lists are not always the same. One contains the book we cannot wait to open. The other contains the impressive book that has been judging us from the nightstand for eight months.
Wanting to want something can be useful. You may hope to develop an interest, understand another person, or build a habit that serves you. But it becomes tiring when you keep describing an obligation as a passion and then blaming yourself for not feeling passionate.
Listen to the language you use. “I would love to” sometimes means exactly that. Sometimes it means, “I like the version of myself who would love this.” The activity becomes a costume for an identity rather than an experience you actually enjoy. That is a lot of work to assign to a hobby.
You can value something without enjoying it. You can exercise for your health without announcing a lifelong love of exercise. You can admire someone else’s interest without adopting it. Being honest about the reason may make the choice easier, because enthusiasm is no longer another requirement you are failing to meet.
Try separating attraction from approval. What draws you in when nobody is watching? What do you keep choosing because it sounds like the right thing to choose? There may be room for both, but they deserve accurate names. Your life does not need to become a collection of interests that look good in a short biography. The less impressive interest may be the one that actually gives you something.
Today’s Prompt
Where are you confusing a genuine interest with an interest you think you should have?
